
Howard ends up a loser
Australian Prime Minister John Howard has been named Biggest
Mug of the Sydney Olympics.
He took out the title in a close vote of the thousands of accredited
journalists from around the world who covered the Sydney Games.
They were impressed with the absolute dedication the miniature
politician displayed in trying to get his "mug" in the
frame beside each and every of the 40 or so Australians responsible
for the host nation's 16 gold medals.
In a sports-crazy nation, Howard clinched the Biggest Mug award
in many of the sports journalists' minds when public opinion polls
showed a dip in his popularity, suggesting his endeavours to have
some of the magic of the games rub off on him had backfired.
Still, it was a close-run thing and Howard only just got the award
ahead of three equally worthy winners. They were:
Princess Anne, for suggesting that some of the team sports
should be dropped from the Olympics, a brave call indeed from
the only Olympic sport where another living creature - a four-legged
one at that - does all the work. Since the trap started using
clay pigeons, that is.
Rugby Union legend David "Too Easy" Campese
for also calling for some of the team and sillier sports to be
culled, while in the same breath announcing he's got a nice little
format in mind should a limited-side rugby union competition ever
be introduced; and
The arsehole of an English newspaper columnist
who suggested that Eric "the Eel" Moussambani's torturous
100m freestyle swimming display was a blight on the Olympic spirit
of higher, faster, stronger and demanded that it never happen
again. This prick probably also disapproved of Eddie The Eagle.