Dear Doctor Dick,
I need my cock sucked really, really badly!
Pumped up,
St Lucia, Qld
March 2, 1998
Doctor Dick replies:
Well, you're in the right country.
Dear Doctor Dick,
My partner makes fun of a vein on my penis that sticks out and I was wondering
if it was normal to have a vein on my penis that sticks out. Thanks.
Vein and address withheld,
March 11, 1998.
Doctor Dick replies:
Yes. And by the way, always rememember that it is better to have
loved with vein than never to have loved at all.
Dear Doctor Dick,
I want to fuck my boyfriend like never before. What should I do to make
him want more?
STDRRP12
March 11, 1998
Doctor Dick replies:
Alright! And keep on truckin'. Besides, it's nice to receive a question
from a woman who obviously lives outside Australia. Well, I'm assuming you're
a woman.
Dear Doctor Dick,
I think my vacumn cleaner is seeing another man. Should I spy on it?
Hoover Boy,
Galdstone, West Australia.
March 2, 1998
Doctor Dick replies:
Are you going to be a sucker all your life?
Dear Doctor Dick,
I would like to ask whether it is normal to have hair growing on the scrotum
and surrounding areas such as the anus? This question has been left unanswered
for a long time and I hope you could answer it for me.
A. Low, Perth.
March 13, 1998
Doctor Dick replies:
Of all the skills a trained sex professional needs in dealing with
clients is that special ability to determine the real, underlining call
for help that invariably accompanies apparently innocent questions such
as yours.
Anal hair loss is a common problem in men and can occur quite early in adulthood,
so there's nothing to be ashamed of. Except, perhaps, how you came to know
you were suffering premature anal hair loss in the first place. If you can't
accept bottom baldness as simply a part of life's magical journey, there
are a number of very profesional businesses than can help, such as Advanced
Anal Hair Studio.
They offer a complete clinical examination of the extent of your problem,
and offer remedies ranging from a simple rectal rug that no-one will guesss
is not the real thing, to the more complex anal hair replacement program
which I'm told can be quite painful.
On the subject of scrotal hair, it's true that the normal adult male's testes
should have a fine covering of soft hair - if they'd just stop scratching
them every five minutes, that is.
Dear Doctor Dick,
I thought my girlfriend and I had a perfect sex life until she stunned me
the other night by leaving on my side of the bed an ad from a recent Picture
magazine claiming that a simple surgical procedure could give me an eight
inch (20cm) penis. She brushed off my protests, saying simply that she just
thought that an eight inch penis might be a little more pleasurable for
her. I love her dearly and I'd do almost anything to satisfy her, so should
I go ahead and consult my doctor?
Pokle-axed,
Adelaide Hills.
March 4, 1998
Doctor Dick replies:
Far from being a simple surgical procedure as your girlfriend claims,
the entire operation is fraught with danger and quite personally, I wouldn't
undergo such a drastic reduction for anybody.
Got a sex problem that needs fixing? Doctor Dick can
help.
Address your questions to Dr Dick, P.O. Box 599, Spring Hill Q. 4004 or
drop him an e-mail.
