SYDNEY: Channel 9 television cameraman Joe has accepted all blame for a series of raunchy telephone calls that Australian Test vice-captain Shane Warne had reportedly made recently to an English woman.

- reporter Dave Johnson

BRISBANE: Recent extortion bids against two Australian pharmaceutical companies involving threats to contaminate headache tablets have sparked fear in the nation’s corporate world.
A number of business leaders, who wished to remain anonymous, yesterday admitted they were living in fear of copy-cat threats.
However, Queensland Police have cautioned business operators against overreacting, saying firms should take a common sense approach to the risks posed by extortionists.
A police spokesman refused to comment specifically on revelations by the Brisbane-based Bunnyaville Brick Company that it would now produce its bricks individually wrapped in tamper-evident clear plastic packaging.
Meanwhile, officials of Queensland’s Royal National Association are taking additional precautions in the lead-up to this year’s Brisbane Ekka.
Although the RNA would not comment, it’s understood the association has been contacted by an extortionist saying unless he received a large sum of money, some pies on sale during the Ekka would be laced with meat.

BOOM! BOOM!

SYDNEY: A special meeting of representatives of the International Olympic Committee, the Australian Olympic Committee, SOCOG and the Australian Athletics Federation has given sprinter, Matt Shirvington, special dispensation to accept a sponsorship from the makers of Blu-Tac.
The decision has been heavily criticised by Games host broadcaster, the Seven Network.

CANBERRA: Prime Minister, John Howard, has announced the suspension of all welfare payments and other benefits for anyone reaching retirement age in the next 25 years.
Mr Howard denied the decision would have a drastic impact on the quality of life of middle-aged or elderly Australians, saying the so-called “baby boom generation” never existed.
The announcement co-incided with a directive issued to the Australian Bureau of Statistics banning it from using the term “Generation X”.

ADELAIDE: Outbreaks by hundreds of asylum seekers from a detention camp at Woomera have shattered the hopes of South Australians for a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.
SA Premier, John Olsen, said he was disappointed at the outbreak and its impact on the state’s record bid.
“We had just reached a key milestone – the sixth consecutive month in which nothing whatsoever happened in our state - and then those spoilsports in Woomera went apeshit,” Mr Olsen said.
“If it hadn’t been for the new millennium celebrations we’d have had almost 18 months up by now.”
Mr Olsen called on South Australians to stay calm and resume their record-breaking attempt.
“We all recognise 52 years is an awesome record to topple, but Iceland can’t hold it forever,” he said.

SYDNEY: The controversial television advertisement featuring Alan Bond has spawned plans for similar campaign by his creditors.
The Bond advertisement, featuring the short corporate fraud responsible for Australia’s biggest corporate fraud, promotes a new on-line employment service.
In it, a seemingly contrite Bond makes a series of statements, including: “I seek forgiveness”, “I seek to be understood, and “I seek to regain your respect”.
In a written statement, the creator of the Bond ad, Siimon Reynolds, said: “Wee uundeerstaand thaat aanootheer aageency iis woorkiing oon aa siimiilaar coonceept foor aa paartiicuulaar groouup oof cliieents.”
The unnamed Perth-based agency is believed to be developing the advertisement featuring hundreds of Alan Bond’s creditors reciting the line: “We seek our money.”
Reynolds emphatically denied his agency was negotiating for the services in future campaigns of convicted backpacker killer, Ivan Milat, and Tasmanian mass murder, Martin Bryant.