World exclusive poll shows we're.....

Red-necked racists .... and proud of it!

It's official - Australians are the most racist people in the world!
An exclusive poll commissioned by The Bug has shown that your average Aussie absolutely despises anyone with even the slightest difference in neck colour, accent and cultural beliefs.
The random telephone poll of 1850 Australians asked them to rate a series of purposefully inflammatory statements – using five response categories from "strongly agree" to "strongly disagree".
The shock results put into perspective the massive turnouts by Australians of all hues to further the reconciliation process during Corroboree 2000.
The poll was taken on the weekends of June 3/4 and 10/11 after the big turnouts for "sorry" walks in Australia's major capital cities.
The results will shock Australians proud of our nation's apparent acceptance of multiculturalism.
For example, of the poll's respondents, 78 percent "strongly agreed" with the statement: "Australia's Abos will never get ahead until they get of their big fat lazy arses and do something for themselves."
Only 6 percent strongly disagreed with this seemingly inflammatory and unfair statement.
The shock findings into the thinking of typical Australians on a range of issues, from Aboriginal welfare to Asian immigration – in fact any immigration – and people who still talk funny years after they've settled here, will shock fair-minded people everywhere – although to be fair the poll suggest that may not be all that many people.
The results show that when it comes to racial hatred, Australians makes a tea party of centuries-old animosity between the Jews and the Arabs, the Poms and the Froggies, the Democrats and the Republicans, the Kurds and the Wheys.
And the results are good news for Prime Minister John Howard.
Although not a racist himself, Mr Howard is very, very afraid of racists and their voting power.
Our exclusive Bug poll shows that this seasoned politician with an uncanny knack of feeling the public's mood was spot on when he refused to condemn Pauline Hanson over her unfounded claims that Aborigines were not disadvantaged, for fear of alienating the raging, red-necked racist vote in her One Nation heartland - Australia.
It indicates he is also on the right track in his steadfast refusal to offer a formal apology to Aborigines for past injustices, including the disgrace of the stolen generations.
The poll takers say the results have a 6% error margin because not all of the 2000 taxi drivers phoned were at home to take our pollster's call.

The poll results in full:

Question 1: Australia's Abos will never get ahead until they get of their big fat lazy arses and do something for themselves.

Strongly agree: 78 percent
Mainly agree: 3 percent
Agree: 8 percent.
Mainly disagree 4 percent
Strongly disagree: 7 percent

Question 2: All Cabramatta in Sydney's inner west needs is a good belt of Agent Orange followed by a napalm chaser.

Strongly agree: 69 percent
Mainly agree: 12 percent
Agree: 2 percent.
Mainly disagree 8 percent
Strongly disagree:1 7 percent

Question 3: Pauline Hanson always makes complete sense and should be Australia's first president if we ever make the mistake of dumping our tried and true system of constitutional monarchy headed by our beloved Queen Elizabeth the Second of England and Australia for a ratbag and untried republic.

Strongly agree: 82 percent
Mainly agree:16 percent
Agree: 2percent.
Mainly disagree 0 percent
Strongly disagree: 0 percent

Question 4: The John Laws program should be extended to include a four-hour afternoon segment as well.

Strongly agree: 91 percent
Mainly agree:8 percent
Agree: 1 percent.
Mainly disagree 0 percent
Strongly disagree:0 percent

Question 5: Australian taxi licenses are far too expensive and the GST is the worst thing ever to happen to average decent working-class Australians trying to make a basic cash-in-hand living.

Strongly agree: 100 percent
Mainly agree 0 percent
Agree: 0 percent.
Mainly disagree 0 percent
Strongly disagree: 4 percent

The poll was conducted by Rex Morgan Giddyup Polls Pty Ltd. It involved 2000 telephone calls selected at random from a supplied list of unfinancial members of the Taxi Council of Australia. Of the 2000 taxi drivers called, only 1850 responded to the questions raised; 123 did not answer their phone and another 27 did not have a telephone to answer. The poll accordingly has been assessed at having a 6 percent error rating either way which is within the accepted range for such polls.