Liz tizz fizz as republicans routed!

Australia’s future as a British dominion is assured well into the 21st century following the right-royal rogering voters gave the republican cause at the recent referendum.
The overwhelming thumbs-up given by Australians to continuing the British monarchy’s leading role in the constitutional life of our nation means Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Charles III and William V will long reign over us.
Queen Elizabeth, now 73, is likely to rule as our head of state for possibly another 20 years – given she has no doubt inherited the Queen Mother’s longevity, herself still kicking at 99 thanks largely to the preservative effects of good gin and little to do.
In addition, the fact that the Windors come from good German stock means we can look forward to the end of the second Elizabethan age in around 2020, by which time Charles II will assume the throne he rightly deserves – at the age of 72.
Thanks largely to the excellent medical attention afforded to the Royal family under the free and universal PalaceCare health system - and of course having little to do - he is also likely to rule for at least a further 20 years, passing the Crown to son William at a youthful 58.
Barring any bizarre, horrific and high-speed Parisian road accidents, King William and Queen Sporty should reign until around 2080 – unless the next likely referendum on an Australian republic – in 2060 – defies all predictions and is successful.