Kerri-Anne leaves a big black hole behind

Tributes have poured in from around the country following the news that Kerri-Anne Kennerley has ended her reign as host of Channel Nine’s Midday show.
The shock news that Australia’s favourite daughter would no longer front the national variety show – axed because of allegedly sliding ratings – was greeted with dismay across Australia.
Ordinary suburban Australians – approached at random by The Bug – appear to have taken the news the hardest.
When told of the decision, a tearful Mrs Dotty Minge, 62, of Penrith 30km west of Sydney said: “I’m too upset to speak now. You’ll have to wait till after my husband’s funeral this afternoon if you want a comment.”
A tearful Joyce Grogan, 57 of Beenleigh in Queensland's southeast, was already bravely facing the prospect of life without Midday.
"I was just in the middle of cutting onions for a stew when you rang,” she said.
"I guess Channel 9 will put something else on in (Midday’s) place.
Television executives from rival stations called a truce to their normally intense rivalry to express their bewilderment that Australian entertainment had lost a living treasure.
"We have asked all our members throughout Australia simply to keep on transmitting," a spokesman for the Federation of Australian Commercial Television Stations (FACTS) told The Bug. "We think it's the best thing to do under the circumstances."
A spokesperson for traditional ratings rival Channel 7 said the station's senior executives had been stunned to find they had inadvertently harmed the career of the Brisbane-born legend.
"No one in their right mind ever takes on a Channel 9 personality," she said.
"And Kerri-Anne was by far the standout among the 231 mega personalities currently working or receiving a salary at Channel 9's Sydney studios.
"We deliberately put on the shittiest, oldest, black and white movies in her midday timeslot because we knew it was a lost cause."
The spokeswoman added: "Don't quote me on this but most of us at Channel 7 simply believe the ratings in this case were, as usual, wrong, wrong, wrong!
"We can't say that, of course, because our advertising revenue depends on those highly inaccurate ratings results."
Prime Minister, John Howard, summed up the national feeling, saying: “In my mind, there was no better show on television than Midday and no better host than Kerri-Anne.
"It was good, wholesome, middle-of-the-road entertainment – the kind I like, and the kind we don’t see enough of these days.
"From now on, November 11 will always be remembered by Australians as Armistice Day, the day they hanged Ned Kelly, the day the Whitlam Government was rightfully dismissed, and now the day exactly three days before the media broke the news that Kerri-Anne Kennerley and Midday had been axed.”
A galaxy of Australian TV stars have paid tribute to Kerri-Anne Kennerley and the Midday show.
Ray Martin – former Midday host and now compere of Channel 9’s A Current Affair – said: “Kerri-Anne was a top, bonzer, Aussie sheila - a real knockedabout!"
Host of Channel 9’s Sale of the Century, Glenn Ridge: “Kerri-Anne made hosting a TV show look easy – as if anyone could do it.”
Host of Channel 9’s Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday, Daryl Somers: “I only wish I had a fraction of her talent.”
Somer’s co-host, Lavinia Nixon: “So do I.”
Host of Channel 9 Brisbane’s long-running Extra program, (memo subs: I’ll fill in the name when I remember it): “Sorry, there’s nothing on my autocue.”
Extra reporter, Doug Murray, summed up the mood of average viewers in his usual larrikin way: “Crikey. Strewth.”.
The Bug also contacted some of the nation's leading television critics for their reactions to news of the axing of Midday.
"The show's demise means Liberal politicians no longer have a regular forum in which to give the impression they are almost human," said one media critic for a large metropolitan daily who could not remember his name.
"And what about those right-wing pensioners with purple hair who for decades turned up to be the Midday audience. What's their future?" said another.
Meanwhile, a leading psychologist has called on Channel 9 to find an immediate replacement vehicle for Kerri-Anne Kennerley, describing her as a great communicator in the mould of Ronald Reagan.
"You only had to watch Kerri-Anne deliberately fumble and bumble her way through each Midday program, winning the sympathy of both her studio and television audience in the process, to know you were watching a consumate professional at work," said Doctor Neal Shonsett of Melbourne University.
"That brilliant body language and the on-going "Aw, shucks I've stuffed up again, haven't I?" rapport with the audience put her in a class of her own.
"To know a current topic or a guest's life story back to front and still manage to ask seemingly inane questions - that takes sheer genius!"
Doctor Shonsett said that in the whole history of television entertainment in Australia, Kerri-Anne Kennerley and Graham Kennedy were in a league of their own.
"Both had this unequalled ability simply to walk into a television studio, stare straight into a camera lens and literally eat the cameraman alive."