Dear Dr Dick,
All the news of the Harold Holt disappearance 30 years ago this week has got me thinking: how come all of Australia's Liberal Prime Ministers have either been big cunts or little pricks.
Political novice,
Balmoral, Qld
Dr Dick replies:
The ying and the yang infiltrate all aspects of our worldly existence,
my son. Malcolm Fraser is a fine example of the former category you mention
in your question, while Billy McMahon and John Howard come readily to mind
as perfect specimens of the second category. John Gorton was caught somewhere
between the rock of ying and the hard place of yang, which just about summed
up his time as our national leader.
Almost as if by the mere nature of polarised politics, the Labor Party has produced as a general rule leaders who were either large pricks or little cunts. John Curtin wasn't called the engine driver for nothing, and Margaret has never, ever, been heard to complain about Gough "You've Never Had It So Good" Whitlam. While Bob Hawke was undoubtedly a little cunt, no one could ever doubt his versatility. We can take it on no lesser authority than the former Governor-General Bill Hayden that while Hawke got re-elected four times in a row, he was found to be wanting in the only poll that ever really counts, making him a little prick as well.
Dear Dr Dick,
A good mate of mind who proudly boasts to being a bottoms man often looks
at a pretty woman's posterior and exclaims loudly: "Great salmon!"
He doesn't have a clue where it comes from so can you solve a recurring
dinner party argument for us and explain the derivation of this exultation,
which we guess is based on rhyming slang?
Party of five,
South Yarra, Melbourne
Dr Dick replies:
I prefer "Great Bundy!" myself, as in Bundy Rum - Bum.
Sorry, but I'm as ignorant as the rest of you guys as to the origins of
Great Salmon. Because salmon and bottoms are both pink? Salmon paste? Waist?
Perhaps a woman's bum is called a salmon because there's something fishy
about it? If someone out there in Bugland can shed some light on this curious
term of endearment, please drop us an e-mail or letter.
Dear Doctor Dick,
I'm not sure what the television ad's for, but there's a scene where a woman kisses her baby's bottom. In the current witchhunt for paedophiles, I suspect that the chances of an ad depicting a loving father kissing his baby's bottom are just about zero. After all, all men are sexual predators first and foremost, are they not?
Double standards
Gympie
Dr Dick replies:
How many times do we have to repeat that we do not answer serious questions in this column!
Got a sex problem that needs fixing? Doctor Dick can help. Address your questions to Dr Dick, P.O. Box 599, Spring Hill Q. 4004 or drop him an e-mail.
