Ring of Ire claims star!

The Brisbane Bolts were last night thrown into turmoil after one of their star players appeared before the JDG judiciary committee charged with unsporting behaviour.
In-field thrasher, John "Fingers" Hopoopeater (pictured below right at training) was facing allegations that he had physically interfered with several players from the Perth Prostates during a fiery game in the West Australian capital on the weekend.
Hopoopeater would not comment as he entered the JDG headquarters last night, accompanied by his legal counsel, F. Colin Hardie III QC.
Mr Hardie said Hopoopeater would be vigorously defending the charges.
The charges were laid after three Prostate players – in-line striper Gerry Butt, mid-way crisper Bobby Annus, and back-quarter stumper, Stephen Coit – complained to referees that Hopoopeater had assaulted them during gang packs in the game which the Bolts won 67-23/3, 56/2-98, 84/1-91, 76-37/8, 43-92/4, 101/3-97, 38/7-82.
It is alleged Hopoopeater inserted his entire right hand into Butt's rectum.
Annus made a similar complaint, although he claimed Hopoopeater had inserted two hands into him.
Coit has alleged that during a vigorous gang pack at the 239 line, the Bolts star removed his left boot and inserted his entire foot into his (Hopoopeater's) rectum before doing the same to him.
It's understood the JDG judiciary members, led by panel president Sir Edward Llewelyn, were last night allegedly due to watch alleged video tapes allegedly capturing the alleged incidents.
Past and present players condemned Hopoopeater even before the judiciary committee began hearing the case.
Jeffery "Kabana" Edwards, pipeliner for the Tenterfield Tantrackers, said the playing field was no place for such activities.
"There's an unspoken rule that all that sort of stuff belongs off the field," he said.
"If it was after a game when everyone's in the tub together, fair enough, but not anywhere else."
Grouter with the Darwin Dung Beetles, Kevin Dick, said: "I enjoy a good buttfuck - just like any other elite player in the JDG.
"But there's definitely a time and place for all that stuff."
JDG living legend and former spin boweler with the Sydney Stomas, Sir Don Bradyman – now 103 – issued a statement from his Adelaide home saying: "I am most disappointed with recent events in the JDG.
"There is a need for a return to higher standards and for all players to acknowledge that the game is what counts, not the ambitions of individuals."
JDG observers said the statement appeared to be identical to one issued by Sir Don last year during the infamous 'chardonnay enema' incident in Bendigo.
The JDG judiciary was still sitting late last night and was expected to adjourn to hear further evidence.
Bolts coach, Jack Saunders, dismissed suggestions Hopoopeater was unfit to continue playing.
"It's just a bit of high-jinks – just some good natured horseplay," Saunders said
Bolts general manager, Terry Verandah, refused to comment in detail to The Bug.
"Blow it our your arse," he said when contacted last night.
The Hopoopeater allegations follow a string of incidents affecting the Bolts, including the return of positive drug tests by two younger players – Craig Feel and Kevin O'Guinness.
Both players were suspended retrospectively for taking and selling recreational drugs including marijuana, ecstasy, cocaine and heroin during their appearance at a primary schools coaching clinic in January.
Meanwhile, the Bolt's star gripper, Duncan "Tooly" Macnamara, has announced the date of his retirement.
Macnamara will play his final game with the Bolts on June 2.
"I've picked the date on legal advice – something to do with a statue of limitations or something," he said.