Ryan's Slaughter

Now that the dust has settled on the Ryan by-election, I can reveal some of the goings on behind the scenes of the government’s campaign.
Let me start some months ago when the then Member for Ryan and Defence Minister, John Moore, announced his official retirement.
I was sitting in my kitchen reading the morning papers and preparing breakfast – my good lady wife Devon being away overseas on a visit to Greece with her close lady friend Les.
They were to spend a month staying on a particular Greek island, the name of which escapes me at present.
It appears the island had been home to some Greek lass who wrote poetry many centuries ago.
When Devon and her friend were packing, I remember asking who had chosen that particular, rather obscure destination.
“Les, boss,” Devon said. She had never called me “boss” before, and I was rather tickled that she had created a new pet name for me - indeed, the first - after so many years of marriage.
I just wish I could recall the name of that island. But, I digress.
As I consumed my breakfast and the morning news, my telephone rang.
It was a chap from the office of the federal Treasurer, Peter Costello.
Apparently the Treasurer had some say in the composition of the Liberal Party’s campaign committee in Ryan.
It was explained to me that the Treasurer himself was keen to have me on the committee.
“We know we’ll get the outcome we want with you on board,” were his exact words.
I guess being a Brisbane-born boy was a part of their reason for contacting me.
But also, as a retired public servant who has worked for governments of all political colours, I have let it be known that I am always willing and able to assist where and when I can.
I agreed to join the campaign as a special adviser.
The following night I attended my first meeting of the Ryan campaign committee.
The meeting was held in the campaign office of the Liberal Party’s candidate, Bob Tucker, located in one of the major shopping precincts in the electorate.
The chairman, whose name I cannot recall, introduced me to the rest of the committee - a collection of senior Liberals from the state and federal levels.
I was about to make a few comments and outline my ideas for the campaign when the door opened and in walked John Moore.
He apologised for being late and explained he was pressed for time.
Apparently, prior to leaving his home, he had wasted some minutes sitting in the back seat of his car, not realising he now had to drive himself.
Then, when he arrived, he realised he had to find his own parking space - not an easy task on a late shopping night - and was forced to park two blocks away and walk to the meeting.
We all commiserated with him.
The chairman asked if I might defer my remarks until after Mr Moore had an opportunity to speak. I agreed.
Mr Moore then spoke a few brief words before glancing at his watch and handing over to Bob Tucker.
He was almost out the door when he was stopped by my first question.
Not being too familiar with the exact geographical extent of Ryan, I asked him to give an outline of the seat’s boundaries.
He looked at his watch again then rattled off a list of Brisbane’s western and inner-western suburbs.
It was quite impressive, and he had to be corrected on pronunciation on only a handful of occasions by members of the committee.
When he finished he hesitated in the doorway so I asked a second question, concerning the key industries and employers in the electorate.
He stared blankly at the committee members for a few moments then excused himself, saying he could hear his mobile phone ringing, presumably in his car.
I suggested we wait until his return, but the chairman thought otherwise and asked if I might outline my ideas for the campaign.
I did so, beginning with a suggestion that we reinforce Bob Tucker’s name in voters’ minds by devising a simple, short slogan using a rhyme.
By the silence of those around me I knew they were not familiar with such innovative campaign techniques.
I persisted.
What we need is a slogan such as “Tucker. He’s a ....”.
Then I illustrated the idea by beginning to search for possible words rhyming with Tucker.
A - aucker. Nothing.
B - bucker. Couldn’t make that work.
C - cucker. Nonsense, really.
D - ducker. We really didn’t want to make any reference to a has-been heavyweight from the right wing of the Labor Party in New South Wales.
E - eucker. Nonsense, again.
It was at that point the chairman stopped me and adjourned the meeting rather quickly.
We never returned to my idea at the next campaign committee meeting or any of the others held throughout the entire campaign.
In the end the slogan was something about Tucker being a local.
Pity. I really thought we could have done better.

Rufus Badinage MBE, now retired, is one of Australia’s leading
experts on politics and public administration having worked as a
senior bureaucrat for various state and federal governments.