The age of resent

It just breaks my heart seeing the increasing number of men who come into my treatment rooms with small penises.
Of the 2523 patients I handled during the year just past – and a further 212 e-mail responses logged onto this very site – a sobering 73 percent involved patients concerned over the size of their penis, and of those, 97 percent were men.
To make matters worse, their palpable shame over the size of their manhoods meant that of their number, 32 percent were anxious to try various mechanical aids such as pump implants, a further 44 percent were prepared to have their bodies pumped full of dangerous chemicals and hormone supplements to achieve larger erections, and, most sadly of all, an additional 62 percent – or 1.34 out of every 1 patient handled – would submit themselves to dangerous and barely proven surgical procedures to offset what they perceived as nature's short-changing of their physical attributes.
All this, mind, despite my best assurances as an impartial professional that there was at least a 75 percent chance that any of these so-called solutions would have only a 50 percent chance of success.
The saddest thing of all, of course, is that none of these men – about as close to 0 percent as one can get, statistically – needed any treatment at all because a thorough and minute examination of their genitals revealed they were all perfectly normal in terms of girth, length, speed of erection upon stimulus and tumescent longevity, and were all clearly within the 5 percent margin of error for such statistics.
So while there was absolutely nothing wrong physically with any of these men – and, quite frankly, what they had satisfied the most demanding of sexual partners – they do indeed have a problem – and sadly it's all in their mind.
So what has caused this upsurge in the feelings of inadequacy among the world's men?
Why has it reached the stage where I am almost reluctant to go to my surgery for fear of having the problems of disillusioned and shattered men thrust down my throat day in and day out?
And, most importantly, and paradoxically, why are these men's partners becoming so short with them?
World-wide research by almost all leading sex researchers shows that over the past decades, there has been a 72 percent drop in the number of men who don't like to give their partners oral sex to help them achieve orgasm - almost inversely proportional, by the way, to a 71 percent rise on the incidence of male halitosis.
Yet at the same time, more women than ever (34 percent more in fact) – are not satisfied with what is taking place in the boudoir.
Expectations raised in women's magazines? The feats of over-sized freaks in porn videos, perhaps, seeing that 73 percent of all such videos are bought by women? Or has the age of man simply past its use-by date?
Whatever the reasons, I theorised in a recent paper delivered to the Fifth International Sexual Disabilities Congress in Copenhagen that although 95 percent of men are really trying their best as sex partners, there's only a 42 percent chance as we enter the new millennium that less than 5 percent of the poor pricks will measure up.