WASHINGTON: President-elect George W Bush has given his first televised address to the American nation, pledging he was determined to prove that he was not as dumb as some people thunk.

LONDON: Britain's high unemployment rate is to disappear overnight, following a pledge by Prime Minister Tony Blair, clearly aimed at this year's general poll, to staff every customer window at every post office throughout the country.

LONDON: Britain's population of 60 million are breathing a collective sigh of relief today with news that their beloved Princess Margaret, 70, the Queen's sister, has not had a stroke after all.
It appears one of the royal physicians wrongly diagnosed the princess's listlessness, partial paralysis, slurred speech, inattention to her civil duties and down-turned mouth.
"He only just recently joined the palace medical staff ," a spokesperson explained. "It won't happen again."