Dear Doctor Dick,
Much has been said and written about the alleged studliness of the African-American
male, but what about the women? Is the sexual hardware of Negro women larger
than that of their white counterparts?
Curious
October 26.
Doctor Dick replies: I'll look into it and get back to
you.
Dear Doctor Dick,
(Every) time, I do sex with my partner, my dick gets cut and I start bleeding.
The place of the cut is (always the same). The physician's only advice is
to take it easy during the course of the fucking (but) I can’t take
it easy. Is there any advice?
Kaleb
October 25
Doctor Dick replies: You've really got to try getting over this oyster fetish – or at the very least take them out of the shell first.
Dear Doctor Dick,
I've been going out with this really nice woman now for three months but,
strangely, I have no desire whatsoever, to have sexual intercourse with
her. Whenever we're intimate, I prefer her to give me hours and hours of
oral sex. Is there something wrong with me – or this relationship?
Concerned
November 1
Doctor Dick replies: Not at all. It's just a face you're going through.
Dear Doctor Dick,
OK, I have seen numerous sites on the web that claim you can enlarge your
penis in its flaccid and erect state in terms of girth and length by a stretching
technique and some hand exercise technique (not masturbation). Is this true?
Or is it BS.
Name and address withheld
November 16
Dear Doctor Dick,
How many inches does it take to make a woman feel like she has enough dick
before sex starts?
Name and address withheld
August 31
Doctor Dick replies: Oh, for goodness sake. All these pathetic requests over the years from pathetic little men about how to improve their pathetic little manhoods! When is it finally going to dawn in the only sex organ you blokes should worry about – your brain – that penis size is largely irrelevent in having a lasting and satisfying relationship with the female of the species. Not that we needed any more research on the subject to ram home the truth of that, but I have only just today received the full report of an extensive survey of the sexual needs of young women, prepared by a University of Queensland medical student as part of her doctorate thesis. In this particular survey of 12,000 sexually-active female University of Queensland students, the responses of the 2500 who listed themselves as being heterosexual are illuminating. When asked to name the things they looked for most in a man, size was indeed listed as being very important for these women, but we're not talking penis length or girth here. A man's height was the No 1 size requirement, the survey found. The second was the size of his pay packet, the third the size of his overdraft, the fourth the size of his mortgage. Those who think that the first physical attribute of a man to get a mention in this survey was the 13th most popular response - the donk - would be sadly mistaken. The respondents were referring to the capacity of a man's car, in cubic centimetres. The only response to mention a physical attribute was the final answer at number 20 - the tongue.
Dear Dr Dick,
When I wake up of a night I find that my penis is very cold even though
I am hot. Can you help?
NS
October 19
Doctor Dick replies: Not really. I suspect the problem will disappear over the coming summer months. On a positive note, you should be very thankful it hangs that far out the side of the bed.
Dear Doctor Dick,
My girlfriend's pussy is turning brown. She is very worried. Is there a
medical term for this?
ST
October 6
Doctor Dick replies: Try cutting down on that terrible habit of chewing bettel nut all the time.
Dear Doctor Dick,
I was going out with this contortionist for six months but we eventually
broke it off.
Disengaged
October 6
Doctor Dick replies: Ouch!
DOCTOR DOCTOR
Give me the news
I’ve got a bad case
of lovin' youse.
Huey
Ocotber 3
Doctor Dick replies: Hey, you're only human.
Got a sex problem that needs fixing? Doctor Dick
can help.
Address your questions to Dr Dick, P.O. Box 696, Fortitude Valley. Q. 4006,
or drop him an e-mail.
