Dear Morrie,
I’m very upset about the ticketing fiasco for the Sydney Olympic Games.
I filled in my order form months ago and ticked dozens of boxes hoping to secure at least one seat to watch our sporting heroes in action. But what did I get? Nothing.
Yet it seems all these high flyers in the business world can just pick up the phone and get as many seats as they like – even though their company and not them personally will be paying for it.
Don’t you think that’s wrong and what can I – as an individual Australian – do about it?

Cheated
Dandenong

Dear Unsure,
I don’t have to tell you that this issue is dividing our great nation. In many respects I can’t wait for the Sydney Games to be well and truly out of the way.
I’ve always been proud to call myself a true blue Aussie, but like you I was ashamed to think the Games organisers could stuff things up in the way they’ve done.
You’re right, it isn’t right. I know it seems hard to make any sort of difference in situations like this when you are just one person seemingly alone.
But don’t worry, I’ve been working on a solution.
I was visiting a lawyer mate of mine the other day who told me he reckoned he stood more than a good chance of challenging SOCOG’s actions in court.
Unfortunately, he is not in a position at present – and may not be for a few years – to lead such a challenge personally, much as he’d like to.
He’s residing temporarily at a government-run rural retreat.
But he is willing to provide expert advice that will hopefully see more tickets released to the people who deserve them – the little Aussie battlers like you and me.
Of course, you can’t set foot inside a court room these days without the meter ticking over in big dollar amounts. So to make a challenge a success, I’ll need to raise a couple of hundred Ks.
If you want to get square with the Games organisers you could start by kicking in a few bucks – say $1000. My mate reckons the result is a dead cert and not only will we win the right to see the Olympic spectacle, we’re bound to be awarded costs.
So really there’s no risk!
If you or your friends want to support this bid to get what’s rightfully yours, send your money to me as soon as possible.
Make a cheque out now to the fighting fund I’ve established, Citizens Against Seat Hogs.
Bugger it, to save your time and mine, just make it out to CASH.
I’ll be in touch.

Morrie

Morrie Bezzle is founder and executive officer of the Oodnadatta America’s Cup Challenge Syndicate, former co-chairman of the Sanctuary Cove Olympics Bid Pty Ltd, and honorary coach of the Three Bares Synchronised Swimming Team and Cabaret.