25 resounding reasons to vote NO!

Reprinted with kind permission from the official website of Pauline Hanson's One Nation Party.

1. Because the office of president is elected by politicians and not by popular vote, there's no guarantee that Pauline Hanson will be our first president.

2. Under the proposed republic, a drunken president cannot sack a popularly elected Labor government and hand the reins and all the lurks and perks of power to a Liberal Opposition Leader who does not have the confidence of the House of Representatives, thus greatly favouring the conservative side of politics in any constitutional crisis, an important safety valve under our present constitutional monarchy.

3. The Queen's Birthday public holiday will be scrapped immediately, to be replaced by Republican Day, celebrated on October 27 each year to commemorate Gough Whitlam's birthday on July 11.

6. Because the office of president is elected by politicians and not by popular vote, there's no guarantee that David Oldfield will be our first president if for some reason Pauline Hanson decides not to run.

4. The name of Queensland will be changed automatically to Malcolmturnbulland, as required under the rules for the upcoming referendum. Few people are even aware of the fineprint detailing this.

4. All of the nation's laws that use the word Crown will automatically become null and void allowing Aboriginals to live where they like and that includes your backyard and even using your new barbecue, so think about that, okay.

5. Our navy ships will lose their prefix HMAS (Her Majesty's Australian Ship) and be retitled simply as ARS or Australian Republican ships. One can only be thankful that the republic was not around in the time of Captain Cook's voyage of discovery aboard the Endeavour.

8. Australian taxpayers will foot a bill expected to be close to $230 billion just to convert the nation's roads over to driving on the right hand side, as required in republics.

9. Entertainers such as musicians will suffer financial ruin because royalties – monies paid for the use or performance of their creative endeavours – will be banned under a republic.

11. A republican president is shot every eight hours somewhere in the world and Australia is not expected to be any exception.

12. Production of Australia's favourite beer, Crown Lager, will cease immediately, forcing diners to drink the inferior VB, bottled at least a day earlier from the same vat.

13. Our proud pub heritage will be lost forever, with Royal and Jubilee Hotels everywhere losing their name completely, with others reduced to silly name like Of Edinburgh, Of Wales and Consul.

14. Because the office of president is elected by politicians and not by popular vote, there's no guarantee that David Ettridge will be our first president if, for some reason, Pauline Hanson and David Oldfield decide not to run.

15. Isn't it bad enough being gay in Australia without those types of people flouncing around everywhere and calling themselves screaming presidents?

16. A yes vote will immediately sever this nation's ties to Greenwich Mean Time in England, leading to erratic daylight hours that will prove even more disastrous than daylight saving with its faded curtains, smaller bag limits for recreational fishermen and the like.

17. Any cash money – coins or notes – still in your possession if Yes gets up on referendum day won't be worth the paper they're written on - unless they're coins, of course – because they depict the Queen on any side or surface.

18. The Royal Flying Doctor Service will be axed immediately putting the lives of thousands of isolated outback Australians at serious risk.

19. Underprivileged kiddies will suffer once charity events such as the Miss Australia, Miss RSL or Miss Dapto are outlawed because winners will not be allowed to be crowned.

20. The State of Victoria will automatically be renamed South New South Wales. The economy of South New South Wales will subsequently collapse once the Crown Casino is forced to close.

21. Simple card games that have given countless millions of Australians pleasure over the years will be virtually unplayable with two thirds of the coloured cards missing.

22. Deaths from illegal backyard dental practices will soar once legitimate dentists are banned from fitting crowns.

23. The cost of honey to Australian consumers will soar as supplies slump, the obvious result of Australia’s 14,300 apiarists being forced to replace their queen bees with egalitarian bees who have no sense of duty and who lay eggs only when and if they want to.

24. Because the office of president is elected by politicians and not by popular vote, there's no guarantee that Bill Feldman will be our first president if, for some reason, Pauline Hanson, David Oldfield and David Ettridge all decide not to run.

24. Because the office of president is elected by politicians and not by popular vote, there's no guarantee that Jack Paff will be our first president if, for some reason, Pauline Hanson, David Oldfield, David Ettridge and Bill Feldman all decide not to run.