The controversial appointment of former Queensland Cabinet Minister Bob Gibbs to a highly-paid trade commissioner's position in Los Angeles prompted The Bug to send one of its Brisbane-based crack reporters on a no-expenses-spared fishing expedition to the US West Coast to track down and expose the high-flyer. On his arrival in Tinseltown he got stuck into the crack and hasn't been seen since, let alone filed a story.

So The Bug's LA-based correspondent Michael Howe-Johnson stepped in with this world exclusive interview with Gibbs (pictured above) who was an avid Bug reader during his long political career.

Bob a job in LA

BUG: You have a special brief to help the Queensland film industry. Is this because of your early career as a top porn star before you entered Queensland politics?
BOB: I've got absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
BUG: Those films you did in Sydney in the late 50s. I thought some of them were really quite good.
BOB: I think we should terminate this interview right now.
BUG: Did you come up with your screen name Rock Hard? It's a beauty.
BOB: Where's my driver.
BUG: I especially loved your work in the mass orgy scene at the end of each film. To my mind, yours was the stand-out performance.
BOB: Really?
BUG: Huh, huh.
BOB: I've got no idea what you're talking about. I've never heard of those seventeen films and if we don't get off the subject, I'm leaving.
BUG: There's a second bottle of Bollie on its way if you stay.
BOB: Fire away.
BUG: Ummmn … okay. So no porn career. What's your expertise in film, then, that has landed you this plum role?
BOB: I'm an expert in it. On all the tourism junkets I watched movies. After the hard stuff, making a speech, opening another bloody resort and then working the room over for a dozen or so grogs, it was heaven to get back to the suite, take the shoes off, hit the mini-bar and watch the movie channel.
BUG: What was the last Australian film you really liked?
BOB: The one with Mimmie Mc …
BUG: Mainstream, Bob.
BOB: Of course. Definitely Eyes Wide Shut.
BUG: Wasn't that film Kubricks?
BOB: I didn't mind it.
BUG: No, the Englishman Kubrick.
BOB: It was Kidman, you clown. Red-headed Sydney sheila. Gets her kit off a treat. Don't you know anything about film?
BUG: Read Des Partridge every week.
BOB: Being from a high-class literary rag. I'm surprised you'd read anything written by those mongrels over at The Courier-Mail.
BUG: How long since you've spoken to them?
BOB: I haven't spoken to the grubs since they speculated on which high-rise block at Surfers I wasn't staying at for Indy.
BUG: What special qualities do you think you bring to the Trade Commissioner's job in LA?
BOB: Diplomacy has always been my strong suit. Any other foolish sheep's droppings of questions before we crack open this second bottle of Bollie?
BUG: What was the last American film you really enjoyed?
BOB: Schwarzenegger in The Sixth Sense.
BUG: You're a big fan of Arnie then?
BOB: Shit, yeah. Imagine having him on your side at ALP State Conference when you're trying to sort out the old guard, crunch a few numbers on policy, give em a lashing.
BUG: But isn't Arnie's a republican in the US.
BOB: Well, so am I in Australia.
BUG: And what's your view on art films?
BOB: I think responsible adults should be able to access explicit material in the privacy of their own homes.
BUG: How specifically are you going to assist the Queensland film industry?
BOB: I'm going to go out every night to Hollywood parties and represent the State. I'd also like to invite every young starlet from Neighbours … and the boys as well … to drop in for a few bottles of Bollie when they're next in LA. We can have a few of those, what do they call them here, Bodgie Nights?
BUG: Boogie.
BOB: Have I? Sorry about that. It's the bad air here. That better?
BUG: A bit. Some people say there are others more capable of representing the Queensland film industry.
BOB: Who says that? Just because Matt Foley's got portfolio responsibility for fillum means nothing. I'm the man. An Attorney-General who doesn't even know where the bodies are buried? I ask you. I was the one who tried to get Baywatch. Who better to send to LA than a man who knows the ins and outs of that program.
BUG: But the job wasn't advertised.
BOB: Jesus, how long have you been in Queensland?
BUG: Some critics say you've just got your snout in the trough yet again.
BOB: Typical of the knockers. Bastards used to call me the Minister for Good Times. Do you know how hard the job was? Another bloody restaurant opening every week. Always flying off at the drop of a hat as Tourism Minister. And sport! Christ, it seemed like we were in the members every other week for another bloody State of Origin. Then it was the bloody responsibility for racing. Like some days I even had to go and represent the Government at the mid-weeks at that God-forsaken hell hole Bunrambah.
BUG: Bundamba.
BOB: Whatever. But I didn't mind that - while it was bloody hard work getting on a decent bet at Ipswich with those lousy fields, at least people couldn't accuse me of neglecting my electorate.
BUG: Those very critical comments about your living in the inner-city miles from your seat obviously hurt?
BOB: They certainly did. No bugger ever gave me credit for being much closer to the office.
BUG: The Executive Building?
BOB: The L.A.
BUG: When will Queensland see you again, Bob?
BOB: As part of the deal with Beattie, I've got first class air tickets when I need 'em. I'm back for the State of Origin match in May to open the Bob Gibbs Stand at Lang Park and, if you're lucky, I'll be around for the Gibbs Classic at the Winter Racing Carnival. Tell the grubs I haven't forgotten 'em. Ready for a top up?