Dear Doctor Dick,
Why is it that brown-eyed women always seem to have really large breasts?
Keen observer,
Kenmore, Brisbane
September 1
Doctor Dick replies:
It has been this newspaper's on-going policy for many years -
as is this column's - not to answer questions that are clearly sexist in
nature.
Dear Doctor Dick,
Your letters and advice in the last edition of The Bug regarding
animal fetishism, particularly your own revealing poddy calf adventures,
reminded me of the story about a friend of a friend who had a dog. His technique
was to train his dog to lick up the crutches of women. This he found was
a novel and seemingly innocent way of ‘meeting sheilas’ by a friendly
break of the ice on the bike path. So far so good, I can hear you mutter.
Except that his method of training Rex (I believe that was the wonder dog’s
appellation) was to slip on a dress, drip honey on his genitalia and coax
Rex to act naturally with a lick and a slurp. Now I just don’t know,
Doctor, is that sick or what? And, moreover, can it get me or him into trouble?
Master Rex
August 31
Doctor Dick replies:
Someone here is a very sick puppy and it might just be you.
Dear Doctor Dick,
When I was 23 I was a sexual maniac. Now, at 43 I sometimes find it hard
to reach ecstasy. What is wrong with me? Is it stress?
Bill
September 20
Doctor Dick replies:
At 43, count your blessings that you can still sometimes find
it hard!
Got a sex problem that needs fixing? Doctor Dick
can help.
Address your questions to Dr Dick, P.O. Box 696, Fortitude Valley. Q. 4006,
or drop him an e-mail.
