It is a sad state of affairs when news of an imminent Royal Tour of
Australia rates little more than a few paragraphs in the news briefs column
of our major dailies.
Sadly, that was the fate of the recent announcement that our Queen and
the Duke of Edinburgh would visit Australia early next year.
Not so many years ago, such an item would be – deservedly so –
front page news.
Those were the days when thousands of school children would line the streets
just to catch a glimpse of a reigning Monarch, or even a distant Royal relative,
as they sped past in an open Rolls Royce or Land Rover.
Even the most fragile young child would stand shoulder to shoulder with
their school chums, forming huge concentric circles on the major sports
fields of every capital city.
There they would wait under the blazing sun - sometimes for hours –
to cheer as our Royal Visitor sped past.
How times have changed.
I was on the staff of Sir Robert Menzies when HRH Queen Elizabeth II was
making one her first Royal Tours of Australia almost 40 years ago.
Back then such events dominated the news. Every little snippet was reported.
Which reminds me of my role in averting what could have been a very embarrassing
incident.
Before a state reception in Canberra on that particular Royal Tour, I suggested
to the then Prime Minister that he recite a stanza or two of poetry to express
his feelings for the Queen.
He chose some verses from 17th Century British poet Thomas Ford’s There
Is a Lady Sweet and Kind.
There is a lady sweet and kind,
Was never face so pleased my mind;
I did but see her passing by
And yet I love her till I die.
As I was seated directly in front of the head table, I could see the Queen blush when Menzies finished the first stanza. He continued.
Her gesture, motion, and her smiles,
Her wit, her voice, my heart beguiles,
Beguiles my heart, I know not why,
And yet I love her till I die.
As he drew breath, I realised – to my horror – what lay ahead in the third and fourth verses.
Her free behaviour, winning looks,
Will make a lawyer burn his books;
I touch’d her not, alas! not I,
And yet I love her till I die.
Had I her fast betwixt mine arms,
Judge you that think such sports were harms,
Were’t any harm? no, no, fie, fie,
For I will love her till I die.
I knew that despite the Prime Minister’s best – and innocent
– intentions, that some people could easily misconstrue his words.
In particular, I was worried what the Duke might think.
Before he could utter the first word of the third verse, I discreetly pushed
my dinner plate – with a very nice, and untouched roast of lamb and
vegetables – off the table. The shattering noise it made distracted
Menzies.
Others around me – including the Royal Couple – jumped. I knew
by his furrowed brow and the fiery look he shot me, that the Prime Minister
was angry.
But I also knew I had caused him to completely lose his train of thought.
Once again I had saved the day, even if Menzies didn’t appreciate it
at the time.
But, I digress.
Those memories came flooding back as I read and re-read news of the next
Royal Tour due to take place in March 2000.
As I did so, I began to question whether the Royal Family still has relevance
to modern Australia as we approach the new millennium.
The very fact that I - like our Prime Minister, an avowed monarchist –
was even contemplating such a proposition caused me great distress.
I have always maintained that there is no sense in changing an institution
that has served us very well for so long.
The referendum on an Australian republic is only a few short months away
– a referendum I had always thought would be and should be soundly
defeated.
Yet, something was very wrong if even I was having second thoughts about
the British Monarchy.
That night, watching the television news coverage of the Queen Mother’s
99th birthday celebrations, it dawned on me.
The Monarchy is an institution. Princess Diana’s untimely death and
the Queen Mother’s inevitable – but hopefully long off –
passing, prove that while members of the Royal Family come and go, the institution
continues.
If the institution itself is sound, as I believe it to be, why not just
change the people who happen to populate it at a particular time.
I must admit I had had more than my usual number of G&Ts that night
– in honour of the Queen Mum – but it still made sense to me in
the cold light of day.
If the majority of Australians do not want the British Royal Family to head
our system of government, why not simply replace them with a more acceptable
and more popular family?
And who better than the Kennedys – America’s “Royal Family”
as we’re so often told.
They have so much in common with the Windsors – wealth, a funny accent,
and a history of untimely deaths, marital failures and infidelities.
The Kennedys would also bring with them a big advantage – experience
in a republican system.
Adopting them as our new Royal Family would satisfy both sides – republicans
and monarchists.
Importantly, there’d be no need for an expensive and possibly inconclusive
referendum.
I’ve already written to John Howard outlining my idea.
I’m sure he’ll recognise it as the sensible compromise we’ve
all be looking for.
Rufus Badinage MBE, now retired, is one of Australia’s
leading
experts on politics and public administration having worked as a
senior bureaucrat for various state and federal governments.
