Unconditional apology!

Some readers have already contacted us, having mistakenly assumed that the heading Gin-soaked Old Crone Turns 100 on the front page of this net edition of The Bug referred to our beloved Queen Mother of England and Australia, whose photo appeared nearby.

The heading in fact referred to another Commonwealth citizen who turned 100 on August 4 and who cannot be named for legal reasons. A damning feature article by this paper's team of award-winning investigative reporters, outlining the wasted life of this snooty-nosed, spendthrift sot who never did a hard day's work ever and who, by all accounts, was an absolute bitch, had to be pulled at the last minute for the same reasons.

The Bug apologies unconditionally for any hurt the unfortunate juxtaposition of heading and photo may have caused to any person.

2nd apology.......

Sorry we took so long to change our edition. The Bug is touring foreign parts and it's taken some time to overcome some technical glitches in the file-uploading department. Australia is a fucking long way away from anywhere when you come to think about it.