Dear Morrie

I’ve been reading your columns for some time now and trying to work out how I could be as creative and inspiring as you when it comes to developing and running a business.
I have a secure, but tedious job in the federal public service and lately I’ve felt the need for a real challenge.
Finally I’ve had a breakthrough.
I was watching those “desert island” TV shows that seem to be all the rage at the moment – the American Survivor and the British one, Shipwrecked - when suddenly a light bulb went on above my head.
Why not offer such adventures to anyone who wants them?
I reckon it’s a great idea. I’m sure there would be enough people around with a spirit of adventure big enough to take part, and pay for the experience.
Do you think it would work? Can you help me set it up?

Challenge Seeker
Geelong

Dear Challenge Seeker,

I don’t know if I’ll disappoint you or make your day, but I’m way ahead of you on this one old son.
I, too, had the very same thought when I cottoned on to the popularity of those TV shows.
In fact, I’m in the middle of establishing just the sort of outfit you mentioned.
But, the old Morrie is nothing if not big hearted, so I’m willing to cut you in on the deal.
But, there’s one big difference in my plan.
You can forget about desert islands. They’re old hat.
The old tropical paradise may impress those sun-starved Poms and a handful of Yanks who wouldn’t know a palm tree from a pink flamingo.
But I reckon we should be exploiting our natural assets here in our own wide brown land.
Yep, it’s the sunburnt country, the land of sweeping plains that will get ‘em rolling in.
As a Queenslander, tropical islands are a dime a dozen to me – and they were literally in the good old days when Sir Joh ran the place and had the welcome mat out to entrepreneurs like me and me old mate Skasie.
No, these days if you want to grab the international tourist market, you need to differentiate yourself and your product and then flog it for all it’s worth, and then some – that’s one good tip I picked up from Bondy, before things soured between us.
I’ve already set the wheels in motion on a little business that’s just right for those folks overseas who want to see the real Australia and who like a challenge into the bargain.
My plan – no, my vision - is to offer survival vacations in our own Outback.
I envisage dozens of Japanese, Brits, Yanks and anyone else who’ll ante up getting off the plane in Brisbane, Sydney or Melbourne and straight onto a bus for a short drive to a place called Lake Neale.
It’s north east of Ayres Rock and it’s just what people imagine when they think of the Outback.
The bus drops them off and returns a week, a fortnight or a month later – depending on how much they’ve paid for the experience of their lifetime.
Of course, being the sort of bloke I am, I must admit to a bit of a pecuniary interest in all of this.
I bought a swag of land around Lake Neale sight-unseen off Laurie Connel in the mid-80s with a view to developing a boating resort not unlike the top little number Bondy did at Yanchep in WA.
In fact, Laurie even threw in the lake itself.
But, I’ll let you into a little secret about Lake Neale - there’s bloody nothing there but desert and if you’re thirsty and looking for water in the lake, you might as well gargle a box of Saxa Salt.
I just wish the late lamented Laurie would have let me in on the joke, preferably before I handed over the cheque.
But, that’s at least three wives ago for me and poor old Laurie’s now doing deals up above.
Still, I reckon surviving out there is a real challenge.
Anyway, I reckon this could be a top little money spinner if we – yes, I did say “we” – do it right.
If you want to get in on the ground floor, send me a few Ks and I’ll get things rolling this end.
Send a cheque made out to Central Australian Survival Holidays.
Bugger it, to save your time and mine, just make it out to CASH.
I’ll be in touch.

Morrie

Morrie Bezzle is chairman of Lake Neale Mirage Resort (in liquidation),
commodore of Lake Neale Yacht Club Inc (in liquidation),
and executive director of Lake Neale Search and Rescue Pty Ltd.

The publisher and staff of The Bug take no responsibility for the advice provided in this column.