Dear Dr Dick,
On New Year’s Eve I went to a party thrown by my boss and imbibed a
little too much of the festive spirit.
In fact, I drank so much that I cannot even remember seeing in 1998, although
my work colleagues in attendance have since informed me I enjoyed myself
tremendously and was the life and soul of the party.
Much to my astonishment, on New Year’s Day I woke in my bed next to
a man – let’s call him Trevor – who works in the accounts
department of my firm.
I can only assume I picked him up – or vice versa – from the party.
From my state of undress and other clues – which for modesty’s
sake I will not detail – it was obvious we had spent a night of torrid
passion together.
It was quite embarrassing for me – a situation made more acute when
he told me over breakfast that I was the best, most inventive and satisfying
sex partner he had ever had and he wanted to see me again.
To make matters more complicated, “Trevor” is a married man. Should
I see him again, or just write off the whole sorry incident to experience.
Barry,
Enoggera, Brisbane
Dr Dick replies:
Statistics show more one-night stands occur on New Year’s Eve
than on any other night of the year.
I must confess that in my youth it was not unknown for me to awake to the
new year with a strange bedfellow – a goat in a party hat, a taxi driver
(still with the meter running) and a halved pineapple still with toothpicks
and cheese and pickle nibblies attached are just some of the ones I can
remember.
I suggest that in future you stick to low alcohol drinks at parties.
Dear Dr Dick,
From many bar-room discussions with my mates, it is obvious that most healthy
men fantasise about having sex with more than one female companion at a
time.
Most of the pub talk centres around the fantasy of lying on your back with one beautiful woman astride you having normal sex, while another sits on your face and you indulge in oral sex. I guess the whole ideal excites men because that scenario is exceptionally difficult to emulate with just the missus as playmate, no matter how big the equipment's grown over the years.
The reason I write is that my fantasy goes much deeper than that, if you'll excuse the pun. While I wouldn't mind the menage a twat described above, my fantasy involves not just those two women, but a further five! I envisage four more beautiful women engaged in digital sex with my hands and feet, while the seventh woman sticks her head up through the hole towards the bottom of my specially designed king-sized bed and gives my sphincter a torrid tongue bath.
As it so happens, my wife has three drop-dead gorgeous younger sisters and three stunning sisters-in-law and we'll all be together next Sunday. I'm keen to get your advice as to whether I should put the proposition to all seven of them at the end of our regular monthly church outing?
Also, if they come aboard with my grand plan, would I be setting some sort of group sex record with this manoeuvre?
Digitally remastered,
Glenore Grove, Qld
Dr Dick replies:
Let's answer the second question first. No, you wouldn't. I'm sad to report that a certain high-flying Australian businessman whom we cannot name for obvious legal reasons frequently gets into the sort of group mayhem you can only dream about - and then some!
This well-off individual has been known to celebrate a win at the races by sending his stretch helicopter for a bevy of beautiful call-girls to spend the night at his penthouse suite. Educated rumour has it that by carefully selecting svelte and diminutive Asian beauties, this lucky bastard has been known to entertain 29 women at once - the first two as you described, another 20 for each finger and toe, one to attend to his anal needs, two sucking on his ears and the remaining four doing chores that we mere mortals can only ponder about in our wildest dreams.
When asked why he goes to all the trouble and expense to achieve this frenzied group activity, the businessman normally shrugs his shoulders and says: "Because I can."
So, back to your own rather basic plans.
Hell, why not. I'd ask them. Can't do any harm!
Dear Dr Dick,
I was dating this really nice girl in an equally nice country town and everything
was going along just peachy. We got on like a house on fire and we couldn't
believe how many things we liked to do in common: drinking coffee, reading
books, drinking coffee, bush walking, drinking coffee.
But then when I popped the big question over a cup of coffee, she said "no"; it wasn't the right time. Since then, some old flame is back on the scene. Just yesterday I spotted them drinking coffee and acting very friendly behind her house. I'm writing to you now, coffee mug in hand, a shattered man, for it's obvious I'm going to lose her. There's not a lot of available women to start with in a town this size, she made a real nice cup of coffee and she was a bloody good root to boot. Should I fight or back off completely.
Roy,
Name and address withheld by request
Dr Dick replies:
Do you know how many letters I get from discarded roy boys? I'm afraid you've lost her for good, mate, probably to some toffy city prick who's been able to afford to woo her with that freeze-dried Moccona crap in the fancy bottle. The only mug will be you if you succumb to any pathetic attempts on her part to make contact with you once this stranger's Moccona magic starts to wear thin.
Got a sex problem that needs fixing? Doctor Dick can help. Address your questions to Dr Dick, P.O. Box 599, Spring Hill Q. 4004 or drop him an e-mail.
