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The United States has belatedly apologised for targeting a 12-year
old Baghdad boy and his friends in their hunt for deposed Iraqi
dictator Saddam Hussein.
Saeed Hussein was celebrating his birthday with many of his school
friends in a west Baghdad McDonald's franchise when the US military
struck the restaurant earlier this week with an undisclosed number
of missiles fired from warships in the Persian Gulf.
Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld told a media briefing in Washington
that on-the-ground intelligence agents had reported that a person
wearing a name tag "S Hussein" had been spotted in the
popular McDonald's eatery.
"Look, it's an unfortunate accident but the boy's got to
accept a fair bit of the blame for the misunderstanding,"
he quipped.
"He was apparently quite big for his age. Wearing a black
beret didn't help his cause much either.
"Naturally, we deeply regret targeting a McDonald's outlet,
but when top-shelf intelligence comes in, it would be a dereliction
of duty not to act on it."
Mr Rumsfeld quipped that most of the birthday group had just ordered
double quarter-pounders with cheese when the attack was signalled.
"That's when we surprised them with some 18-pounders with
cheers of our own," he quipped.
But he added the McDonald's franchise owner had to accept some
of the responsibility for the mishap.
"Selling the lad a chocolate thickshake so that he had a
dark-milk chocolate moustache that made him a dead ringer for
the Iraqi tyrant is surely the most flagrant breach of the Geneva
Convention to come out of this entire Iraqi campaign - and there's
been some doozeys.
"We'll certainly be taking up this matter with his widow."
Mr Rumsfeld quipped it would be nigh on impossible to ever determine
just how many died in the mishap.
"But you can be rest assured that it's going to be a helluva
lot less than the 193,456 Iraqis and a cat who were murdered in
the two and a bit decades that the evil despot Hussein was in
power.
"Besides, it could have been much worse. Luckily one of our
smart bombs went off course and missed Baghdad altogether, landing
on the Sunii Days Pre-School and Kindegarten in Tikrit just when
parents were picking up their remaining children.
"I'm told they're still picking them up," Mr Rumsfeld
quipped.
"We'll never know exactly how many were killed, although
we do know there are several four-wheel-drive camels that won't
be going on any long trips any more.
"But you can be rest assured that it's going to be a helluva
lot less than the 193,456 Iraqis and a cat who were murdered in
the two and a bit decades that the evil despot Hussein was in
power," he quipped.
The Defence Secretary warned that similar accidental strikes were
likely until Saddam was taken out.
"Only then will the world be truly free of the threat of
indicriminate terrorist attacks that callously target innocent
civilians."

'We deeply regret targeting a McDonald's outlet'
Donald Rumsfeld