Manly girls up to old tricks

AN ancient nemesis of young Aussie blokes and sheilas on the rantan has to be the warcry of "dress code".
Uttered usually by steroid-ravaged bouncers, the two words have started many a blue from Weipa to Woolloomooloo.
It was more down the 'Loo way of this brown land that the bloodiest of the most recent dress code battles was fought.
Now, I am not the only league writer who knows it was dress code what done in Fatty Vautin and blunted the future of Peter Sharp.
Vautin, of course, used to preside over Manly FC, the initials not only telling you what sort of sport they like but the general calibre of the blokes and odd blokette who run things down Manly way.
Peter Sharp is the shafted Manly See Dodos' coach who seemed quite offended that he was on the sharp end of the way they do business on Bloody Crossdressing Bedwetter's Beach, as the locals affectionately call the place.
On the other hand the Bash didn't blink when me Steak and Kidney spies told me how Ken "Narko"' Arthurson and his Manly Leagues Club cronies staged a bloody coup to capture the footie club.
As I said, I am sure I am not the only one who knows the real story. But Bleedin' Norah Jones, true league fans, I am the only one who is going to tell you.
You see, it all came to a head at a joint meeting of the FC and the LC, the second set of initials standing for how lucky these sorts of people are to be rich.
Now Fatty Vautin showed up in a sundress, which in other circumstances might have been passable.
Despite his affection for roaming golf courses, Fatty still has a fair pair of knockers.
Having been brought up in Brisbane during the still zestful days of women's liberation, Fatty would have heard the advice given to young women tentatively edging from the shadow of their menfolk.
The more adventurous feminists would tell their timid sisters: "Never hide your tits under a bushel."'
So Fatty might have got a pass conceded, except he was beside coach Peter Sharp who came to the meeting dressed in a grey tracksuit.
Narko Arthurson and the rest of the men on the leagues club board were appalled and Sharp and Vautin's geese were cooked.
It was, after all, after 6pm.
To a man, Narko and the other blokes on the board were wearing ankle-length black cocktail dresses dresses with matching scarves and small dangling handbags.

***

Me mate Blue was able to solve the mystery of how the game's leading try scorer Rhys Wesser managed to play himself out of the third Spate of Origami match.
You need to understand that every Blue theory is based on the the main Blue Theory the world is run by incompetents.
"But, Bash, you gotta understand you don't get to be boss cocky of any tinpot Aussie outpost dunny unless you are as cunning as a shithouse rat.
"The number-one law of the shithouse rat manager is when you cock up, the first thing you do is cover your tracks."
Blue reckons opting for North Queensland centre/goal kicker Josh Hannay at Wesser's expense is tracks-covering for Maroon selection cock-ups in games one and two.
First, not selecting Canberra fullback/goal kicker Clinton Shithotsky on the wing in game one meant the selectors could not drop Shannon Hegarty or Matt Sing for game two because they turned out to have very good games - just as Shithotsky probably would have.
The mistake in Spate of Origami II was moving Tonie Carroll from the forwards to the centres which was a negative defence-oriented choice.
The correct move, Blue says, was to move Hegarty to the centre and bring in Wesser on the wing.
All of a sudden in game three, Queensland decides it wants a goal-kicker other than Lockyer, a decision made two games late.
Blue reckons Shithotsky should be on the wing on Wednesday night, while Hegarty and Wesser should have been training for a week, alternating between outside centre and wing.
I have got a lot of time for Blue's thinking - that's my mate Blue not a New South Wales think-tank misled by Guts Ghoul. So, I am going for the Blues to thrash Queensland in Spate of Origami III.
I do have some comfort for you true league fans going for the Maroons despite their being coached by Wayne Bunny.
The Bash is batting 2 for 0 in SOO selections and I will be quite happy if I make that 3 for 0, rather than NSW doing it.

Cop-u-lata
The BASH