Sledgehammer tactics sort men from the boys

They should call Spate of Origami I the Sledgehammer Test where selectors hit every player in contention between the eyes with a 10kg sledgehammer.
Any player who blinks is disqualified from representing his state.
Deadset, the Bash loves a barrage of biff and an ocean of claret as much as the next true league fan.
But whenever the Maroons or the Blues had to separate players, the sledgehammer test ruled.
It turned out to be only a baseless rumour spread by Guts Ghoul that Canberra Raiders' Clinton Schicofske was not in Maroon contention because no Queensland selector could spell his name.
It could have been true because Clintion's not that easy to spell.
As it turned out, Shannon Hegarty got the nod because he did better in the sledgehammer test, even though one selector wanted him disqualified because in his words: "Shannon's a fuckin' sheila's name."
Having Andrew Gee play from the bench pretty much signalled Queensland's expectation Spate of Origami I will have the contestants bleeding from a thousand paper cuts.
The Boo-bloos pretty much have the same idea and are playing rough as guts Shaun Timmins at five-eighth.
NSW hates the concept of the ball getting out to the Queensland centres Brent Tate and Justin Hodges.
What they have overlooked is a better playmaker than Timmins might have got the ball out more to their own smart centres Matthew Gidley and Jamie Lyon.
I do marginally favour the Queensland backline against NSW who have got an attacking bench while Queensland has mainly defensive reserves.
Which all means the game will be close but wouldn't it have been nice to have had the Penrith lads Preston Cambell and Rhys Wesser or even Canberra's Clinton Shove-off-see on the paddock.
But, of course true fans, we can show there is absolutely no bias or stupidity among the selectors from either side.
Take this quick quiz and I promise to give you the answer afterwards in case you are a coach or a referee and someone is reading this column to you, before your seeing-eye puppy shits on it.
Q: Who is running first and second in the NRL competition almost half way through the season.
A: Canberra Raiders and Penrith Panthers.
Q: Which of these two clubs has more players among the 34 selected for Spate of Origami I?
A: A trick question because they are tied. The Raiders have none and the Panthers have none. You figure it out, true league fan, and report back to us.

The latest trick from the Guts Ghoul Travelling Circus is a hoot. Guts has appointed Ricketty Stuart as Joey Johns' personal coach.
Can't you just see it:.
Guts Ghoul to Ricketty Stuart: "You tell Johns my dick's bigger than his dick."
Ricketty Stuart to Joey Johns: "Guts reckons you should play as good as I used to in Shape of Origami."
Joey Johns to Ricketty Stuart: "You tell that lard-arse loser I have taken that advice on board."
Ricketty Stuart to Guts Ghoul: "Joey says I'm the greatest coach he has ever had."
Dead set, it must be hard to be a Blues coach with so much talent.
Because everyone around is so thick, you have to remind them of your genius all the time.
Queensland to win Spate of Origami 1 and the series, with John Hopoate's Golden Point to decide whether Guts Ghoul or Wayne Bunny is the bigger pain in the arse.


Cop-u-lata
The BASH