Bunny in the headlights

I guess when you have an utter moron like George W. Bush shitting on the world's stage, it is only reasonable Wayne Bunny can become an instant expert on everything.
I would have thought, true league fans, we were in the majority in not giving a a root-a-toot what the Brisbane Brumbies coach thinks about rugby league, let alone anything else.
I thought Bunny cancelled press conferences by popular demand.
It looked a big win for us, true league fans, when the second most boring man in the world seemed to join the first in a media ban.
I refer to NSW origin coach pasty-faced Guts Ghoul who reckoned some Nudes Unlimited journos had been pissing into his stubbies. If that meant his shorts he wouldn't have minded, but he was talking about his beer.
Ghoul said he would have to consider giving up coaching the best football side in the world, NSW State of Origin. (Coming from the Smug State, the Blues still manage to cock up games and lose to inferior Queensland sides).
Of course none of us believed a word because Ghoul's lips were moving and we were proven correct.
It seems Ghoul was up to something else. World Boring No 2 or Noddin' Off as we like to call him so we don't confuse him with World Boring No 1 or Noddin' On as we call Bunny.
Guts was looking for an excuse not to talk to the media on the basis that the Bunny strategy had elevated the Brumbies mentor to the greatest coach of all time in any sport.
As long as Bunny did not give himself away as a total dick by speaking, pisspot media bimbos could elevate beyond the deeds of famous American coaches whose brainless but impressive-sounding comments Bunny will sprout endlessly unless someone brains him with a baseball bat just after he starts.
Maybe there's no "i" in team, but there's certainly no IQ in Wayne Bunny.
Someone told me Bunny used his newspaper column to barrack for George W Bush's team in their recent game against 19th division side Iraq.
I wouldn't be surprised to see some Nudes Unlimited bimbo-flunkey extoll Wayne for picking another winner.
I don't read Bunny's column over breakfast because I am on a bit of a health kick. Besides, the last thing I need first thing in the morning is to be spewing up muesli with extra fruit, rum and milk. Imagine how having that all over the kitchen wall would stuff up the decor.
I did have the misfortune of coming in at the tailend of a Bunny interview on ABC radio's Grandstand. He was doing his block in that snivelling, mumbling way he does his nana.
It seemed to the Bunny brain a great injustice had been done by an off-white bloke who found offensive the name "Nigger Brown" for a Toowoomba grandstand.
Wayne was totally pissed that this bloke and his fancy legal mouthpiece had gone running to the United Nations bitching about the name.
As Wayne Bunny, John Howard and any right-thinking cretin knows, the UN hasn't got the balls for a fists, tanks and long-range missile blue, but will have a go at anyone who does.
Now Bunny really told this fawning ABC interviewer that Nigger Brown was a good name without racist taint and he played beside and coached them off-white fellas and they were good blokes and some of my best friends and so and so on and so.
Bunny, of course, put up a good case (mainly for afternoon naps on weekends).
But I cannot help thinking he left out the clincher. Why, oh, why didn't Bunny deliver the money argument.
Why didn't Bunny say: "I was in the Queensland police force and we liaised with off-white people, all the time.
"And in all my time in uniform, I never met one racist in the Queensland police force."
Why, oh why, didn't Bunny say that.

Cop-u-lata
The BASH