EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW:

Simon has simple message for critics

In this exclusive interview with The Bug, embattled federal ALP leader Simon Crean speaks candidly about his future, the current struggle to maintain his position and those who are plotting against him.

BUG: Thank you for agreeing to this interview in what must be a very stressful time.
CREAN: Thank you for the opportunity.
BUG: Does the prospect of being the only Labor leader never to take his party to an election scare you?
CREAN: No I am not scared and neither should you be.
BUG: But that seems the likely outcome, if you listen to what's being said around the corridors of Parliament House.
CREAN: Just look carefully, I only want you to look carefully. Do not repeat the lies of liars. Do not become like them. Search for the truth.
BUG: But some of your own MPs are saying that you're finished.
CREAN: These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying. They do not even have control over themselves. Do not believe them.
BUG: How are you standing up to the pressure at this time?
CREAN: Listen, this explosion does not frighten us any longer. The cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean here over the past two days we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target.
BUG: An interesting analogy, but some in your Caucus say the leadership issue is crowding out policy issues and it needs to be cleared up sooner rather than later.
CREAN: This is merely a prattle. The fact is that as soon as they reach Baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them. Wherever they go they will find themselves encircled. The louts of colonialism. They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 tanks into centre of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind.
BUG: Okay, but if a leadership contest were held soon, what's your assessment of the outcome?
CREAN: My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all. Our initial assessment is that they will all die. We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp. We will welcome them with bullets and shoes.
BUG: Bullets? Shoes?
CREAN: They will be burnt. We are going to tackle them. We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked.
BUG: Their rear is blocked?
CREAN: The battle is very fierce and God made us victorious. The fighting continues. Yesterday, we slaughtered them and we will continue to slaughter them.
BUG: Thank you Mister Crean.
CREAN: They tried to bring a small number of tanks and personnel carriers in through al-Durah but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their throats cut. We made them drink poison last night.
BUG: Yes, yes. Thank you.
CREAN: Those only deserve to be hit with shoes.