
Cricket world in turmoil!
WAUGH CHEAT CLAIM!
Australian cricket has been rocked by sensational
claims that the nation's Test skipper Steve Waugh cheated in the
final Test of last summer's Ashes series in a desperate bid to
cement his place in the current side touring the West Indies.
Horribly out of form all summer, Waugh prolonged his lengthy Test
career when he cracked an unforgettable Test ton at the SCG that
even people who have never seen it will remember for a long long
time.
And the sensational claims levelled this week suggest a very simply
reason for his dramatic turnaround in form - Waugh illegally used
his twin brother and Test discard Mark to signal what shots to
play.
Freed from the confines of the side's dressing room, the forgotten
Waugh was able to secrete himself in the crowd at square leg and
assist his out-of-form sibling by a series of predetermined coughs
just as the bowler released each delivery.
An Australian Cricket Board member who did not wish to be named
said the scam was "bleeding obvious" once Channel 9
footage of the innings was reviewed over and over again. Mark
Waugh's distinctive cough could be clearly heard through the station's
special-effects mikes as each ball being faced by his struggling
twin was released.
"To be brutally honest, we also thought something was amiss
but couldn't work out what," he said.
"All series, Waugh could hardly get the ball off the square.
And anyone who saw how distressed he was when faced with the prospect
of battling in the just-completed Test at Port of Spain - Waugh
appeared to be crying openly under his helmet before dramatically
declaring his side's innings over to avoid facing up - sure puts
the SCG performance in perspective."
The Bug can reveal that during the SCG innings, one cough from
Mark Waugh signalled for his brother to unleash a blistering off
drive; two a powerful hoike to leg. No cough at all meant the
Test skipper simply ducked down.
Three coughs - for when the English bowlers got the ball on the
stumps and a defensive stroke was called for - didn't have to
be used.
The ACB said it had never thought of the coughing scam, but had
acted on reports that the ageing sports star might have been using
vibrating pagers secreted on his body to direct his shots.
Board officials had the 37-year old sporting icon physically checked
just before he went out to bat the next morning after his amazing
last-ball ton, but came up empty..
That he quickly snicked a ball to slip at his overnight score
has been put down to the fact that his younger twin had left the
ground moments earlier to attend a barrier-draw at the nearby
Harold Park trots.