Arnie reveals mandate

The Bug was one of the first media outlets to interview new Californian Governor Arnie Schwarzenegger after his landslide win. His quick and incisive responses to a range of difficult topics showed that in the former Hollywood action man, the United States has a politician every bit as consumate as Ronald Reagan never knew he was.

The Bug: Hey, what happened to your face?
Schwarzenegger: I bumped into a door.
The Bug: You sure it wasn't the missus getting stuck into you over all those disclosures of sexual misadventures on sound stages during your movie career?
Schwarzenegger: I'll be back.
The Bug: Ah, there you are. You've been gone nine minutes. Found the question a little too hot to handle?
Schwarzenegger: What question?
The Bug: I thought you had total recall?
Schwarzenegger: No, the sequel fell through.
The Bug: We were talking about all those starlets you groped and fondled over the years.
Schwarzenegger: They were all very bad people.
The Bug: Hey, isn't that a line from True Lies?
Schwarzenegger: It might be, but I thought you were talking about when I was a predator? I've already apologised for that.
The Bug: For groping starlets' tusches and fondling their tits?
Schwarzenegger: No, the movie. It was a shocker wasn't it?
The Bug: Close to your worst but that's not what we want to ask you about today. Just how wild were those parties and orgies you took part in during your body building days? What was your most memorable sexual encounter?
Schwarzenegger: Twins.
The Bug: Really? You screwed twins back in the 70s?
Schwarzenegger: No, I'm sorry. I meant on the set of Twins. I screwed Danny De Vito.
The Bug: Holy fuck. Moving right along, what are you going to do about the economy.
Schwarzenegger: I think if people drove smaller cars, that would help.
The Bug: Not fuel economy, the state's economy.
Schwarzenegger: Oh I wouldn't know anything about that sort of stuff. That's what all my advisers are there for. Wanna feel my pecs?
The Bug: Not really. What can you promise the people of California?
Schwarzenegger: Hasta la vista, baby?
The Bug: Now what's that supposed to mean?
Schwarzenegger: I've got no idea. But I used it once in a movie and it's pretty neat, huh?
The Bug: So, are you sure your face is OK? It really looks worse than the after-effects of a little bump.
Schwarzenegger: It's not a tumour.