Lang deserves tilt at national coaching job

RUM, buggery and the lash" was the simple game plan which made the British Empire perennial premiers for a couple of centuries.
Today's Britain has been rightly relegated to the second division.
``Cocaine, licking Unca Sam's arse'' and perpetual bullshit is a messy. losing strategy.
No need to stop reading, true league fan, it really is The Bash here.
Having won a few bob on Penrith in the grand final, I was inspired to write a fancy intro to applaud John Lang's simple game plan which tore apart the Roosters Empire which has 17 players and 167 coaching staff.
A few years back, I watched Johnny Lang being interviewed by Guts Ghoul.
It was in the early days of Ghoul's television career after a team of German and Japanese technicians worked out you could actually fit the Guts head in a camera frame.
Guts trained at the George Negus MMI School of Journalism, MMI, of course, standing for me, myself and I, the three real stars of any interview.
Anyway, half-way through, Guts asks Lang's opinion on this really complicated defensive strategy which Ghoul had run through for us simpletons at home.
Lang thinks for a couple of seconds and replied to Guts: "I don't understand any of that. The first man goes high, the second man goes low; that's all I tell''em to do.''
So Guts, waddya reckon, is all that sophisticated crap gonna rule the Chook Pen for the next few years, because there are plenty of other battling clubs that can send in the first man high and the second man low.
***
I suppose the other thing that made the British Empire boss was keeping the "darkies" under the size 7 jackboot. (Size 7 because trans European in-breeding to produce the English ruling class has never been scientific enough to end up with greatness in size or intellect).
Down Penrith way, Preston Campbell must be wondering if much has changed.
Kimmorley in, Campbell out. Throw in the name Anderson and a picture is emerging and it is not a pretty one.
Chris Anderson, the coach of a team which ran about fourth last, gets to exclude one of the game's most popular players, Campbell, who incidentally was as instrumental as anyone in securing the grand final for Penrith.
The Bash wants the picking of Australian and State of Origin coaches reformed straight away.
Everyone else including players, referees and other match officials get picked on current form
Australian and State of Origin coaches get to keep their jiobs until they do not want it anymore.
It is stupid.
All first grade coaches should state at the beginning of each season whether they wish to be considered for Origin or Australian duties.
The same coach will not necessarily get the three state of origin (though it is likely they will.
The same coach need not get the Anzac Day Test and an end of the year tour (and it is likely they will be different coaches.)
I do not know if John Lang would like to be the Australian coach, but if he does it should be: "Pack your bags mate, you've earned it."
"Oh.,and can you take Preston Campbell with you."
And how the fuck does a coach get a say in who is in representative side these days, when there is an obvious conflict of interest if they are coaching a side in the competition.
Any coach found even suggesting a certain player should be sidelined for two years from representative contention.
These NRL clowns run the Australian selection teams like it's kiddies backyard league.
Little Chrissy Anderson owns the ball so he gets first pick of all the boys he wants in his team.
I have just on word of encouragement for Anderson: RETIRE!.
Cop-u-lata
The Bash

Keep an eye on these

Here are some of the key matches in the World Cup schedule recommended by The Bug's sports-writing team.

USA v France
The French and US teams have had a tempestuous relationship since the 1950s when France forfeited a series against North Vietnam, enabling the North Vietnamese to go on to defeat the USA. Feelings also still run high in the US team about France's refusal to join a recent tour of Iraq.

Australia v Japan
When these two sides last did battle, in the 1940s, Australia won on points, but Japan went on to dominate the competition for decades. Recently, however, it's suffered a significant performance slump.

South Africa v Namibia
The Namibians, whose nation in the south-west corner of the African continent gained independence only in 1990, meet their former colonial masters - the gentle, tolerant, and fair-minded South Africans. This match should be a text bok example of good manners.

England v Argentina
These two sides haven't gone head to head for more than 20 years since a special exhibition match was organised on the Falkland Islands in the South Atlantic. Their 1982 series erupted in controversy when the English captain produced a pistol and shot dead the Argentinian captain, claiming he was "a danger to shipping".

Japan v Wales
This should be a controversial rematch. Memories are still fresh of the last time these two sides played each other - a match in which the Japanese team unexpectedly harpooned all players on the Welsh side, claiming they were undertaking scientific research.