Royal Palace in turmoil: Prince
Henry, the spare to the throne of Windsor, is not the son of Prince
Charles, as this shock world exclusive reports.
DNA doesn't lie: The profiling
that proves beyond doubt that super-rat and cad James Hewitt fathered
Prince Harry.
Constitutional chaos
looms: Our royal correspondent outlines to what extent
these shock disclosures will shatter the British crown.
It's all Greek
to the Duke: How on earth did we miss all these clues to
Henry's true parentage.
A right royal
Charlie: Our
archival piece on Prince Charles shows he was on a hiding to nothing,
even before our shock investigation hit the streets.
Oz News: The little snippets
from the land of Oz.
NATIONAL POLITICS:
Ewe heartless prick! PM John
Howard has rejected an excellent Bug plan to end the live sheep
export stand-off.
Crean down in the mouth! Our national reporter has
the solution to the Opposition Leader's ratings woes.
Fur flies, feathers ruffled: The
push for a new mascot for promoting Queensland gets some snouts,
beaks, etc out of joint.
FILLUMS:
Claws out among critics: Doyen of Aussie fillum
critics David Pomeranian puts a rival in the frame.
He'll be backable:
Schwarzenegger reveals his hopes for California.
MEDIA:
Practice makes perfuct:
A uni paper makes a total fool of itself.
AND OUR REGULAR REVIEW COLUMNS AND COLUMNISTS
Frank Mullet!
Our occasional columnist laments the passing of G-rated
lyrics ... and melodies....and
Morrie Bezzle! Our
lead story this issue clearly shows Prince Harry needs our help,
and our financial guru knows just how you can dip in.
Rufus Badinage: Australia's
foremost political analyst reflects on how he's looked after two
future kings of England - almost 40 years apart.
Doctor Dick: Australia's top
sexologist dispenses his advice with his usual flair and objectivity.
Kisma Ayriars: Sensible people
don't even take a crap in the morning before reading what Kisma
has to say first!
Kasper makeover:
He's meaner than ever and ready for a Test recall.
Basher Brown:
Oz's most offensive rugby league commentator.
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?
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