The Carr Government in NSW has scrapped costly plans to appoint a number of new Supreme Court judges to overcome a backlog of major criminal cases following an offer of immediate help from ex-policeman Said Morgan.

Still in Sydney, a Stanmore resident who last week accused a local Christian brother of being a paedophile has himself been charged on summons – with tautology.

Australia's largest mountain is to change yet again! Mount Kosciusko (pronounced cossie-oz-cow), was recently renamed Mount Kosciuszko (pronounced cos-chew-ski-gecko) to finally overcome a spelling error in the name of the Polish hero the peak was named after. Now the NSW Parks and Wildlife Service wants to move the mountain 64 km south-east to where it was first discovered last century.

Victorian police have launched an immediate inquiry following the death of father-of-three George Mills, 34, shot five times at point blank range by a local police constable as he aimed an air rifle at the moving ducks at a shooting gallery at a rural show in east Gippsland. A senior police inspector in Melbourne said the inquiry would urgently address weapons handling skills across all sections of the Victorian force. "Five bullets would on the face of it seem a waste of taxpayers' money," the inspector said.

In Canberra, a federal Coalition backbencher who came very close to getting his Canberra-based mistress pregnant last Saturday night has called for an immediate sperm recount.

A north Queensland school bus carrying 34 grade five children on a field excursion and the Sunlander - Queensland's crack express train - have narrowly avoided a collision which police say would have resulted in many deaths.
The bus broke down at a level crossing just south of Gordonvale at 3.05pm yesterday moments before the northbound passenger express was due to round a blind corner hidden by two-metre high cane fields and enter the crossing at high speed.
A Queensland Railways spokesman said that luckily for everyone concerned, the train was its customary three hours late and was still at Ingham station several hundred kilometres to the south at the time of the incident.

Minister for Defence Support Bronwyn Bishop has become the first Australian woman in history to go down on an Australian submarine overnight.
In return, the all-male crew of the HMAS Beehive gave the plucky federal minister the thumbs up for her efforts.

Federal police have finally disclosed the identity of the famous Australian at the centre of a raunchy X rated home video currently making its way around the country. They say the "M" tape is of federal Education Minister Amanda "Mandy" Vanstone. "We'd lay charges, " a federal police spokesperson said yesterday, "but no one wants to exhibit it."

The Media, Entertainment and Arts Alliance – the union covering the nation's journalists – is to add a special award category to this year's Walkley Awards for excellence in the profession.
MEAA federal president Humphrey B. Bear, slapping his face and covering his eyes and talking through an interpreter, said the Walkley would be presented to the journalist from any medium who asked the silliest question during the Threbo landslip rescue.
"The cream of the nation's reporters were on the mountain," Mr Bear slapped, "so we're expecting a rush of entries."
Industry insiders believe the current favourite is the reporter who asked the grieving relative: "Were you disappointed when you found out that the man who had survived was not your brother?"
The envelope, please.

In a bid to thwart nuisance and hoax calls, Telstra has announced a change to its emergency 000 number.
The new number for police, ambulance and fire services is 9764 3222 6701 0004 0045 5673 3321 1200 4300 1234 4343 4565 1212 9900 1233 453 2221 7959 222921 1222. No STD prefix is needed.