Abbott's got a fund of talent

Dear Morrie
I've been reading about the events leading to the jailing of Pauline Hanson and I have to admit I'm confused.
Let me say from the start that I've never supported her or her ideas and I was always hoping people like our Prime Minister would have "taken her on" in a more vigorous manner when she first hit the public arena.
People in the Labor Party were saying the same thing at the time.
Yet now, they and a lot of others are attacking Tony Abbott, one of Howard's Cabinet Ministers, for the work he was doing behind the scenes to attack Hanson and her One Nation organisation.
Tell me Morrie, who's right in this messy situation?
Confused
Redcliffe

Dear Confused
Well you've asked the right bloke about this issue. It's been a well-kept secret - until now - but in fact I was at the centre of the action when young Tony Abbott decided to go after the One Nation leader and her party.
It all happened back in 1998 at the Bistro Moncur in the snooty Sydney suburb of Woollahra.
I'm not a big fan of fancy restaurants. My preference is for tucker that's plain and simple, and lots of it. After all, it usually has to last till well into the evening.
In fact, when visiting Sydney you'll find me lunching at a sweet little spot in Chinatown.
Well, it's not so much a restaurant as a businessman's club in the old style - one where you can get someone to eat pretty cheaply.
The food, and the waitresses at the Wang King Palace are both worth five stars in my book.
The pretty young staff are all of Asian extraction and give top service as well as performing some pretty amazing routines when they start their horizontal pole dancing.
So on this particular day it was bit of a disappointment that my dining companion had chosen a bistro in a silvertail suburb - an eatery that offered "French cuisine in a smart, no-nonsense atmosphere".
It was clear to me what that meant - bugger-all on your plate for heaps of dosh.
While waiting for my dining companion - who shall remain nameless because of a pending Family Court action - an eyeball of the menu confirmed my suspicions.
"Sirloin Cafe de Paris" cost $33 and from checking out the plates of those near me, it was nowhere near as big as the slice of beast you can get at any beer garden in Brisbane. Then there was "Bistro Moncur pork sausages and mash potato" at $24.70. Jesus, almost 25 bucks for a plate of snags!
I'd also been warned the place could be a bit on the noisy side and found that to be only too true. Every bugger in the place was shouting to be heard.
While waiting I put a beer on lay-by and couldn't help but overhear the three blokes at the next table discussing a special trust fund they wanted to set up - something called "Australians for Honest Politics".
Now I've never been one to get involved in politics. Sure, back in the good old days when Joh was doing great things for Queensland, I'd hit the bin for a couple of Ks for the Nats.
But I never asked for anything in return. Come to think of it, I didn't have to.
So the machinations that the blokes at the next table were discussing seemed a bit foreign to me.
But the basics were clear - they needed a vehicle through which they could channel huge amounts of money without leaving anyone's fingerprints on a single note.
After listening in for a few minutes, I interrupted them to introduce myself.
It turned out the trio consisted of then parliamentary secretary Tony Abbott, an ex-Liberal Party MP Peter Coleman, and a former Labor Party senator John Wheeldon.
Coleman seemed to be a likeable sort of bloke. But I got the distinct impression Wheeldon had a pretty high opinion of himself.
In fact, I reckon he thought he could shit in a bottle and sell it as aftershave.
After some pleasantries I told them I could look after things for them. After all, I had plenty of experience in setting up special trusts.
I outlined how the thing could work. I even told them the name of the fund I'd establish for them - Concerned Aussies Stopping Hanson - and that all donations should be accepted in cheques which should be sent directly to me.
I added that, to save everyone's time, mine included, the cheques should be made out to CASH.
To my surprise, Coleman and Wheeldon seemed to baulk at these arrangements.
But not Abbott. He could see the benefits in my approach and kept coming back to the details and asking fairly probing questions.
Unfortunately the other two held sway. We chatted a bit more but it was clear I wasn't going to get anywhere with them while Abbott was outnumbered.
They left just before my luncheon partner arrived and I never saw them again.
However, because we'd swapped business cards, I did get a couple of calls from Abbott in the following weeks. I could tell he was still interested, but after that I never heard from him again.
It wasn't until reading the fish-wrappers in recent weeks that I recalled our encounter.
But in the intervening years I've taken a bit of an interest in Abbott's career and, quite frankly, I like his style.
So much so that I reckon he has what it takes to be the head honcho of our great nation when Little Johnnie finally decides to call it a day.
To do my bit to help him achieve his goal, I've set up a special fund through which Abbott supporters can give him a hand, finance-wise.
If you're a fan of his, send me a couple of Ks and I'll get the ball rolling so Mr and Mrs A can start booking the removal van to shift them into The Lodge in the not-too-distant future.
Just send me a cheque made out to Can Abbott Succeed Howard and I'll soon get things moving at my end.
Bugger it, to save your time and mine, just make it out to CASH.
I'll be in touch.
Morrie

Morrie Bezzle is national director of the Lib Errol Party of Australia Pty Ltd, director of the Simon Crean for PM Trust Fund (in voluntary administration), and controlling shareholder in Paul Ian Hansen's Won Neigh Shun Pty Ltd.